Open Eyes

Today was a day of change. For a very long time I have been asking God to "change me". I did not need to be more specific than that. For many, many, years I have endured suffering in my physical body that had little to do with me and more to do with things not under my control--or so I thought.

Prior to the message today, again I asked for change. The center of my heart was throbbing for change. I for so long had been limited in my physical body and at times financial ability to make significant change for myself. There are areas of our lives that we can apply a quick fix to; put down a dollar amount, send a letter or just make a phone call, and change happens. Then there are the conditions of our lives that may require help. You discover a lump someplace on your body, a spot on your skin that was not there 6 months ago, a wrong move on the basketball court now you don't walk without pain. These require the help of a physician (if we are wise).

The pain in my life had lingered for years. The physical pain had become unbearable, the mental distress took a toll on the balance of my life. I was born with a family passed condition, in the Bible it is called a generational curse. This physical disease that was passed to me from my mother, from her mother, is a slow progressing and debilitating disorder. It eventually drained all life from me. Literally, I did not live. Not in the social and everyday sense. Yes, I got up and went to work. I went to church and did some things I wanted to do. But life slowly became more scaled down and confined by the progressive deterioration of my physical condition. The only problem with this is that the doctors couldn't see it. So as I declined continuously, the doctors only relied on the "facts" they have been trained to rely on. For them this was sufficient. For me, it felt like a death sentence. I knew how I felt, I would regularly go to physicians and the lab results would not corroborate my complaints. I had the record of family history in my file, yet that did not seem to carry any weight.

Today though, I wanted change that transcended the physical. Because my suffering in my body endured for so long, the most vital part of my life went neglected. That was my spiritual life. When I was very young I gave my heart to Christ, but it took to my twenties to "get it together". Once I finally "saw the light", I fixed my eyes on God and went full force. [That is no backhanded suggestion for anyone else, its just the level of passion I had for God.] Each of us will have our own race to run for God. The symptoms had been present in my life for so long, most that were crucial to diagnosis were dismissed; because to me they were 'just a part of my life'. Today I stood in the choir singing as I always do, from my heart. Tears began to stream down my face as I worshiped and cried out for 'change'. In the early years of my walk with God, I would spend hours upon hours in the word of God. I would have my Bible on my bed, then I progressed to a concordance for study help. I would pray consistently, and meditate. I would just talk to God and He would talk to me. I wasn't very consistent with my diary or journaling, but when I look back on those that I did write, I can see the hand of God in my life, directing my path.

CHANGE. How many of us really consider it? I didn't go to service with a heavy heart. However, I do go to God with an Open Heart. Today though, as my Pastor said, explaining what God had spoken to him about His intent with the message He had given for the congregation, God did surgery on me today. Now I will not be so arrogant to suggest to you that I have no faults or flaws in many different areas. But, somehow I had come to believe that in the process of my walk with God and the timeline of maturity in Him, that I had covered most things of my past in repentance and consecration. While the Pastor unveiled the truth from the Word, from Numbers 12:1-10, speaking of Miriam, Aaron and Moses, I began to SEE things that needed to be addressed. Because I had been asking for change; because I have done things that I know God is pleased with; because I have tried to live a life that honors him and doesn't bring shame to him; I would not have seen this truth for another decade probably, if God had not forced my pastor to stay on message today.

Miriam was the sister of Moses, and Aaron was their brother. I hope most of us know the story of Moses by now, so I will skip that part, but you can go to Exodus and read all about it. God protected Moses as a baby because he had been born to deliver Israel (the Hebrew people) from their bondage. Before he came center-stage, for the show of his life, he had to run and hide. While he hid he married an Ethiopian woman. In the text from the message today, Miriam goes to her brother Aaron to complain, gossip, deride her brother Moses' choice of a wife. It would be the common mistake to make, in concluding that Miriam was complaining about "race or skin color". To be honest, my first response was the same, but it was much deeper than race. This was about culture, religious background and 'compatibility'; you know the haves and the have-nots (in a nutshell). That is a little simplistic, but I think you get my point. Israel throughout the Old Testament was commanded to keep their bloodline pure, so Miriam's statements would be a sort of criticism on that order.

The story goes like this. Miriam goes to Aaron and begins to complain about Moses' choice of a wife. They even go a step further into danger and began to consider the notion that would create division in the body of Israel. In verse 2 they say, "Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us as well?" The scripture says that "God heard" them speaking against Moses. Then God spoke. He commanded Moses, Aaron and Miriam to go to the tent where worship was offered. Then God commanded Miriam and Aaron to come forward to face God, as He had descended in the pillar of cloud from heaven. God corrected them, he chastised them and gave them clarity about His order of authority and how He responds to rebellion against His chosen leader. In a word, God "checked" them. (I like this part.) He says, if there is a prophet among you, I will show myself to them in a vision, I will speak to them in a dream; but Moses I have spoken to "mouth to mouth", and he has seen the Lord. God was angry and asked them why they had no fear of speaking against God's chosen leader? In contemporary terms, GOD WAS HOT!!! After God's presence withdrew from them, Miriam was stricken with leprosy.

This is a picture of divine order and respect for God's authority in appointing leadership, and how to be discerning concerning what we say, especially as it relates to leaders. My pastor showed us how cancerous gossip, backbiting, mudslinging and evil talk is, as we disregard the order of God and lack discernment about the power of our words. The picture here is, with Miriam's mouth she was speaking destruction and division in Moses' marriage and the people of Israel (the Body of Christ). With her words, she would break apart a marriage and divide the people of God. So when God left the tent where He confronted them, the curse Miriam was speaking against God's authority was left on her physical body. This disease would literally erode her physical body to the point of members and limbs actually falling away. The division she was speaking over her brother's marriage became the division of her own body.

The overall direction of this message was to give each of us a view of the effects of bitter and malicious speech against any authority God has placed. The Bible says that ALL promotion comes from God. Every leader has been appointed by God, because there is no higher authority. Your mother and father are images of authority in your life; your boss, your teacher, law enforcement and at the core of this revelation is the body of Christ. Each of us has our own individual purpose and value.

In this message I was taken back to my first post and my testimony of my relationship with my mother. I began to see that my words may have a part in this cycle of suffering and lack in my life. I am a giver and I love blessing people any way I can. My physical health over the years, has taken practically everything. That and the death of many family members in the years since I moved from Florida. I had to examine myself, as it tells us to do in First Corinthians 11. I had to think that maybe it is a possibility that, not just my limited confession of the promises of God over my life, but also the confessions of anger, spite, rebellion in my youth and other forms of disrespect for authority, that may play a part in my state today. I did not procrastinate. While driving home from service I called my mother on the phone to ask her to forgive me for any pain or hurt I may have caused her. I actually cried because I want to please God and I don't want anything to keep me from being used by God. More to the point, I cried because after realizing the sacrifices my mother had to make to raise her children, I didn't want her to live another day without knowing how sorry I am for any pain of disrespect. Jesus came to bring us together and back into right position and fellowship with God. Our sins had separated us from Him. Are we the reason our lives aren't progressing as it should by Bible standards? Have we caused a curse over our lives by our speech? Is gossip a normal part of your daily dialog with friends and associates? Do you murmur and complain about the boss and company decisions? Do you disagree with the pastor and his leading of the church? If so, how do you handle your disagreement? Do you speak against the congregation of which you are a part? Do you speak against the Church and Christians in general? Any high office, like the President? We don't know who is part of the body of Christ (saved), and its not our business to judge whether they be or not. It is our business to love one another and lead each other into reconciliation with God.

Destiny Point: It is a very dangerous prospect to speak against anyone, because it breaks up the "oneness and unity" of who God created us to be; and sent Jesus to reconcile. We are all One Body in Christ Jesus. If I speak against you, I am in effect dismembering the body and may be dismembering my own purpose and progress. Is the curse passed down or self-inflicted? Take a look. It's never too late to become who God intended. You are precious to Him and He has a good plan for your life.

Scripture: Numbers 12: 1-10; Ephesians 4:1-6; I Corinthians 12:18-27*; 11:17-34

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