How Do You Say Thanks?

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This life I have been given has not been an easy one. Judging from what we hear in church, see in the news, it probably hasn't been very easy for any of us. We look around and see pain and loss almost daily. We have just passed a traditional day where we collectively remember the blessings and the struggles. The struggles make the awareness of the blessings that much more profound; and I believe our appreciation of them much more significant and valuable.

I haven't been around my family for a few years now. I moved to Texas in 2003 with my job; I move to the Dallas area in 2008, in obedience to God, to be a part of The Potter's House Church (Ministry). The road that brought me here is very long, and wrought with struggles and oppositions to my destiny. I was reminded yesterday, on a blog of someone I do not know (someone who has graciously elected to follow my blog), just how 'precious' our time is. More to the point, I was reminded just how precious my time with God is. The road to my destiny, I mentioned earlier, has been paved with loss, sickness, disappointments, missed opportunities, hurts and pains I cannot describe; yet, God was never the source of any of these afflictions. Yes, we sometimes choose to ascribe the worst catastrophes, the most horrific events and most devastating challenges to God; we call them "evil acts" and "acts of nature".  Interestingly, even the unbeliever knows that God's nature is suppose to be Good, and those who believe in 'evil', still give credit for 'evil' to God--the Good-Natured One.  This is not a stump-speech (I learned that from the politicians)--just want to shed a little light. Why do we insist on blaming all that is wrong in the world, on God? Now realize this, God is a God of LOVE. He demonstrated that Love, by sending Christ to pay the highest price for the sins of mankind. In this act, Jesus became the payment (ransom) for the cost that sin incurs. So how is it that the God who GAVE, to PAY My Debt, is also considered the CAUSE of evil (the source of sin)? His nature is Love.

 We remember, in this season, the cost of freedom (I hope). In this nation, we tend to confine the recall of our memory to past holidays; past relationships, national historical records of the founding of this country. Some of us, properly give Thanks to God, for all that the other memories incorporate. Now, I would ask that we not limit the gift of freedom to this nation, because this was the express reason that Christ had to die. The life and joy I feel today, for the one lone follower, who has counted me worthy to have access to her life and wisdom, is only a glimmer of the true Joy that Jesus gave me when He purchased my freedom and gave me a chain free liberation. I REJOICE IN HIS GIFT AND HIS LIFE!!! I see dancing right now in my spirit because, God is healing my physical body and He is restoring my soul (just as the prayer reminds us). He is making all things new again in my life, and my heart needs to say, THANK YOU, LORD!!!

Destiny Point:  The price for my freedom came long before the age old ships from European shores, arrived on the banks of the New England coasts. That price was paid long before the price for a slave's head had been abolished by law and emancipation. A different kind of music is reflected in my expressions today; it is the MUSIC OF THE SOUL. The melodic phrases of the Spirit of God's life inside me (and you). The tones and spiritual voices that sing inaudible melodies which produce light and peace. Its been a very long time since I have been able to 'feel' this authentic joy and happiness. This moment, realized in the acceptance and validation of one person's expression of belief in God's gift and purpose for me. Remember His price; Remember your true freedom. Then Rejoice in the Joy of your Salvation; for He has made you Free, to live the best life possible. Sing and Rejoice because He has given you great spiritual blessings, in the heavenlies!!! Show Him how grateful you are.

Is America lost forever?

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Why?

Why is it so difficult to get to the truth? Why is it so hard for people to be honest with each other? Why is it such a test for women to come together and genuinely care for one another?

From my youth, I have always been a listener. I can't say that I was trained that way. I can't say that my home was a place where people discussed important topics, nor were we even like the Huxtables and talked about all the dimensions of our problems, until we solved them. No, my upbringing was far from that image. To my own bewilderment, I was so different from all that I saw, I can't to this day explain it.

As a child I would just sit back and observe. It wasn't a conscious or deliberate thing. As things unfolded before my eyes, I would just sit back and let them happen. Not in a disconnected sense or I would not have retained or learned all that I did. I can't tell you how or when I learned what I did. One day, many years later, even sometimes just months later, I would find myself offering advice or adding to a conversation with a friend or acquaintance, something I know I had not studied in books or in a classroom. Friends would share stories that would blow my mind, and internally my mind would be saying, "this can't be true", but they would never know what I was thinking. I would just listen to the despair or frustration, as if I had no thought of my own. The only thing that mattered was that they felt comfortable sharing things that I know you can't share with just anyone.

I am not referring to conversations with adults or even young adults; we were kids. Don't get me wrong, I was genuinely interested in everything they had to say. I don't even think I wondered why they felt comfortable telling me things they wouldn't even share with their own parents. Some times the issues were about the parents. I would listen, offer my support in words that don't typically come from a thirteen year old. I look back now and still lack a vivid understanding as to why or how. I had a friend tell me (more than once) that I saved her life. Now, the first time she told me this, it didn't even really register. I guess because I felt she was exaggerating. But years later, she said it again. When she said it the second time, it triggered the memory of the first time. I was a little taken aback. I asked her what she meant by that. How did I save her life? I didn't remember pushing her from the path of an oncoming car; I didn't recall jumping into a lake or swimming pool to save her from drowning (we would both have been in trouble there). She shared with me a time when we were about 12 or 13 years old. A time when she was hurting and distressed and to be honest I couldn't clearly remember all the details, but it was her pain and her memory, I was only the container she poured her pain into. Oh, I am sure her pain did not completely disappear, but since she did count that experience as life-saving, I would have to conclude that the measure of relief was such that it gave her a will to live.
I did not know that she was suicidal, all I knew was she is my friend, and listening was second nature to me.

There are times when God doesn't reveal all His purpose or reason for the challenges and struggles we have in our lives. Believe me, there are times now when I would like for Him to just come out with it! Just tell me that I will have to wait for another 3 years before I will meet the man you have promised. Just tell me that the latest person to show up in my life will not be here long, so don't get attached. Just tell me that faith doesn't work for me like it did for sister so-n-so; that I will have to PRESS through to see the promise of my destiny. Just tell me that the people who have hurt me, will not ever come to me and say, "I am sorry".

Why do we (yes, Christians too) hurt one another? Why do we not see our own sin? I guess it's not that we don't see it, geesh we are committing it. But, why is it so easy for us to harm a sister or brother in the Lord and go on as if nothing took place? Do we put down our mantle of righteousness at the car door after Sunday Service? These are questions I find myself asking when I am suffering and all the godly people around me don't seem to notice or care. Well, I can't honestly say ALL the people. But, there are a few that you have to wonder about sometimes. How can you see or hear that a sister is suffering or in need and still only focus on what she can do for you? I want to believe that we still have some growing to do. That God is still working on all of us and creating a "heart of flesh" in us.

My sister use to tell me, many years ago, that I didn't have friends. There were only about 2 people in my life that she defined as friends to me. Why? Primarily because, I was doing most of the giving. I am a giver, so it doesn't dawn on me that a person could be manipulating me or taking advantage of my humility and kindness. Even now, my heart is not suspicious toward people, most likely because I don't go about trying to take advantage of others myself. I give freely, but that doesn't exempt me from humanness. So what do the loving and faithful do? WE PRAY AND TRUST. We check our own heart to be sure that we are not working out of some brokenness of the past. This is to do as the Bible tells us, to "guard our heart". We are to be humble and caring, but not to the point of martyrdom. In the Kingdom of God, the one and only martyr required has already given Himself. Jesus tells the Church to "occupy till He comes" back. We are commanded to "Go..." and to "Love one another, as Christ has loved us".

I am up at 6a.m., having only spent approximately one hour sleeping before God woke me. After laying wondering why I can't go back to sleep, I asked God to tell me what He wanted me to do. Is there somewhere in the word you want me to go? What? He took me to James 5:10-16. The church I attend sponsors an annual women's conference. This year it will be held in Houston, TX. I registered for this conference last year, after the 2010 meeting. It looks like I won't be able to attend the meeting I signed up for a year ahead. Now this may sound a bit trivial to you, but for me last year was a step of faith. The expectation was that the conference this year would be held at our home church, like last year. My challenges have been many and varied in the past decade. They have even escalated to the point of me being removed from my job for health reasons. So, all these factors were at play last year when I "stepped out on faith". Then a few months later, rumors started floating that the location may change. Getting to my point.

Now not working, health issues have worked their long running interference on my finances, and a coworker, who once would have been considered a friend, wants me to call her. This person hasn't spoken with me (until just before I was removed from my job) for over a year. No reason or explanation, they just stopped speaking with me. At the time I realized something was wrong, I had many things going on in my life that could not be ignored. This type experience with this individual was not the first, it happened once before. Well, my life was filled with challenges, and I was trying to help another coworker through a devastating loss. I did not have time to sit back wondering what I could have done to generate this type reaction. We worked together and attend the same church. During the silent year she would come to visit the desk of another person who sits ahead of me, and someone on the other side of me, but not me. My life has seen so much hell, this is a battle I will NOT take up. The silence went on for over a year, because I refused to yield to this level of immaturity. We are women of God and adults. So I let her have her tantrum, while I fought a fight that I could not ignore on my job.

Its now time for the conference and I have paid money that I cannot get back. I sent a text to a coworker, to ask if she can get an email address from this sister, so that I can contact someone at the church. She did respond to my request, but I was asked to call her. The first question was about my job situation; then my return to work. After I explained the details of my absence, the discussion turned to my conference registration. Would I be attending? Could she purchase my registration, if not?

Destiny Point: There is no bitterness in me (this is very true). I do have to confess disappointment. Only because it seems we are not progressing in the House, as it pertains to the siblings of the House. When a sister or brother in the Lord can share with you a very difficult and trying place of testing and struggle, you most assuredly need to be more concerned with the one in chains, than you are your own comfort and convenience. [If you can't do anything else, the least and most is prayer. Show the suffering person that you care in some way.] Till this day I have not received an apology from this sister, even though I did nothing to wrong her. I share freely with most people, so this is not an opportunity to criticize. Although it is an outlet for my freedom of expression; as well as a tool for God to shine. I share because, I am concerned that some in the body of Christ are drifting into a place where the Bible says, the very elect will be fooled. I am asking you to "keep the light on". Don't allow the deception of pride or even the covering of friends who will 'agree with you' cause you to drift into that place. God requires truth in the inner man. Don't be deceived. Don't allow your wrong to be used as judgment against you. More importantly, don't allow God to have to confront you because you won't judge yourself. The most important mission Jesus gave us as disciples is first, to make disciples; and second, the ministry of 'helps'. The unsaved are not the only suffering people in the world. Keep your heart pure and humble before God and He will not have to judge your work. Commit your way to the Lord.

Read: James 5:10-16; Matthew 24:1-14; 25:31-46; Phillipians 2:1-8

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Kirk Franklin - September

Open Eyes

Today was a day of change. For a very long time I have been asking God to "change me". I did not need to be more specific than that. For many, many, years I have endured suffering in my physical body that had little to do with me and more to do with things not under my control--or so I thought.

Prior to the message today, again I asked for change. The center of my heart was throbbing for change. I for so long had been limited in my physical body and at times financial ability to make significant change for myself. There are areas of our lives that we can apply a quick fix to; put down a dollar amount, send a letter or just make a phone call, and change happens. Then there are the conditions of our lives that may require help. You discover a lump someplace on your body, a spot on your skin that was not there 6 months ago, a wrong move on the basketball court now you don't walk without pain. These require the help of a physician (if we are wise).

The pain in my life had lingered for years. The physical pain had become unbearable, the mental distress took a toll on the balance of my life. I was born with a family passed condition, in the Bible it is called a generational curse. This physical disease that was passed to me from my mother, from her mother, is a slow progressing and debilitating disorder. It eventually drained all life from me. Literally, I did not live. Not in the social and everyday sense. Yes, I got up and went to work. I went to church and did some things I wanted to do. But life slowly became more scaled down and confined by the progressive deterioration of my physical condition. The only problem with this is that the doctors couldn't see it. So as I declined continuously, the doctors only relied on the "facts" they have been trained to rely on. For them this was sufficient. For me, it felt like a death sentence. I knew how I felt, I would regularly go to physicians and the lab results would not corroborate my complaints. I had the record of family history in my file, yet that did not seem to carry any weight.

Today though, I wanted change that transcended the physical. Because my suffering in my body endured for so long, the most vital part of my life went neglected. That was my spiritual life. When I was very young I gave my heart to Christ, but it took to my twenties to "get it together". Once I finally "saw the light", I fixed my eyes on God and went full force. [That is no backhanded suggestion for anyone else, its just the level of passion I had for God.] Each of us will have our own race to run for God. The symptoms had been present in my life for so long, most that were crucial to diagnosis were dismissed; because to me they were 'just a part of my life'. Today I stood in the choir singing as I always do, from my heart. Tears began to stream down my face as I worshiped and cried out for 'change'. In the early years of my walk with God, I would spend hours upon hours in the word of God. I would have my Bible on my bed, then I progressed to a concordance for study help. I would pray consistently, and meditate. I would just talk to God and He would talk to me. I wasn't very consistent with my diary or journaling, but when I look back on those that I did write, I can see the hand of God in my life, directing my path.

CHANGE. How many of us really consider it? I didn't go to service with a heavy heart. However, I do go to God with an Open Heart. Today though, as my Pastor said, explaining what God had spoken to him about His intent with the message He had given for the congregation, God did surgery on me today. Now I will not be so arrogant to suggest to you that I have no faults or flaws in many different areas. But, somehow I had come to believe that in the process of my walk with God and the timeline of maturity in Him, that I had covered most things of my past in repentance and consecration. While the Pastor unveiled the truth from the Word, from Numbers 12:1-10, speaking of Miriam, Aaron and Moses, I began to SEE things that needed to be addressed. Because I had been asking for change; because I have done things that I know God is pleased with; because I have tried to live a life that honors him and doesn't bring shame to him; I would not have seen this truth for another decade probably, if God had not forced my pastor to stay on message today.

Miriam was the sister of Moses, and Aaron was their brother. I hope most of us know the story of Moses by now, so I will skip that part, but you can go to Exodus and read all about it. God protected Moses as a baby because he had been born to deliver Israel (the Hebrew people) from their bondage. Before he came center-stage, for the show of his life, he had to run and hide. While he hid he married an Ethiopian woman. In the text from the message today, Miriam goes to her brother Aaron to complain, gossip, deride her brother Moses' choice of a wife. It would be the common mistake to make, in concluding that Miriam was complaining about "race or skin color". To be honest, my first response was the same, but it was much deeper than race. This was about culture, religious background and 'compatibility'; you know the haves and the have-nots (in a nutshell). That is a little simplistic, but I think you get my point. Israel throughout the Old Testament was commanded to keep their bloodline pure, so Miriam's statements would be a sort of criticism on that order.

The story goes like this. Miriam goes to Aaron and begins to complain about Moses' choice of a wife. They even go a step further into danger and began to consider the notion that would create division in the body of Israel. In verse 2 they say, "Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us as well?" The scripture says that "God heard" them speaking against Moses. Then God spoke. He commanded Moses, Aaron and Miriam to go to the tent where worship was offered. Then God commanded Miriam and Aaron to come forward to face God, as He had descended in the pillar of cloud from heaven. God corrected them, he chastised them and gave them clarity about His order of authority and how He responds to rebellion against His chosen leader. In a word, God "checked" them. (I like this part.) He says, if there is a prophet among you, I will show myself to them in a vision, I will speak to them in a dream; but Moses I have spoken to "mouth to mouth", and he has seen the Lord. God was angry and asked them why they had no fear of speaking against God's chosen leader? In contemporary terms, GOD WAS HOT!!! After God's presence withdrew from them, Miriam was stricken with leprosy.

This is a picture of divine order and respect for God's authority in appointing leadership, and how to be discerning concerning what we say, especially as it relates to leaders. My pastor showed us how cancerous gossip, backbiting, mudslinging and evil talk is, as we disregard the order of God and lack discernment about the power of our words. The picture here is, with Miriam's mouth she was speaking destruction and division in Moses' marriage and the people of Israel (the Body of Christ). With her words, she would break apart a marriage and divide the people of God. So when God left the tent where He confronted them, the curse Miriam was speaking against God's authority was left on her physical body. This disease would literally erode her physical body to the point of members and limbs actually falling away. The division she was speaking over her brother's marriage became the division of her own body.

The overall direction of this message was to give each of us a view of the effects of bitter and malicious speech against any authority God has placed. The Bible says that ALL promotion comes from God. Every leader has been appointed by God, because there is no higher authority. Your mother and father are images of authority in your life; your boss, your teacher, law enforcement and at the core of this revelation is the body of Christ. Each of us has our own individual purpose and value.

In this message I was taken back to my first post and my testimony of my relationship with my mother. I began to see that my words may have a part in this cycle of suffering and lack in my life. I am a giver and I love blessing people any way I can. My physical health over the years, has taken practically everything. That and the death of many family members in the years since I moved from Florida. I had to examine myself, as it tells us to do in First Corinthians 11. I had to think that maybe it is a possibility that, not just my limited confession of the promises of God over my life, but also the confessions of anger, spite, rebellion in my youth and other forms of disrespect for authority, that may play a part in my state today. I did not procrastinate. While driving home from service I called my mother on the phone to ask her to forgive me for any pain or hurt I may have caused her. I actually cried because I want to please God and I don't want anything to keep me from being used by God. More to the point, I cried because after realizing the sacrifices my mother had to make to raise her children, I didn't want her to live another day without knowing how sorry I am for any pain of disrespect. Jesus came to bring us together and back into right position and fellowship with God. Our sins had separated us from Him. Are we the reason our lives aren't progressing as it should by Bible standards? Have we caused a curse over our lives by our speech? Is gossip a normal part of your daily dialog with friends and associates? Do you murmur and complain about the boss and company decisions? Do you disagree with the pastor and his leading of the church? If so, how do you handle your disagreement? Do you speak against the congregation of which you are a part? Do you speak against the Church and Christians in general? Any high office, like the President? We don't know who is part of the body of Christ (saved), and its not our business to judge whether they be or not. It is our business to love one another and lead each other into reconciliation with God.

Destiny Point: It is a very dangerous prospect to speak against anyone, because it breaks up the "oneness and unity" of who God created us to be; and sent Jesus to reconcile. We are all One Body in Christ Jesus. If I speak against you, I am in effect dismembering the body and may be dismembering my own purpose and progress. Is the curse passed down or self-inflicted? Take a look. It's never too late to become who God intended. You are precious to Him and He has a good plan for your life.

Scripture: Numbers 12: 1-10; Ephesians 4:1-6; I Corinthians 12:18-27*; 11:17-34

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Who Are You Really?

I grew up in a house where pessimism and criticism ruled. Daily I was bombarded with reminders of how inadequate I was. As I grew up, that image of 'less than perfect', or always coming up short was embedded in my own self-constructed image. No matter how pretty my 'eyes' were, I never seemed to qualify as a whole person. This did not come only from home, it came from just about every avenue of my life; school, church, social events. As much as I loved to dance, when the teen years arrived and I could "go out" to clubs, I was hardly ever asked to dance. This only reinforced the distorted image I had of myself, from years of being 'unacceptable'. Now, my relationship with my father was good. As a child, he was truly the light of my life. He did not do much talking, but whatever he had to give, if I asked, he would give it. Usually it wasn't anything big. I guess that was an indication of how I saw myself? It really doesn't matter much now because what I wanted or needed from my daddy, he was there when I called.

Yes, my parents divorced when I was about 11 years old. That hurt my heart beyond expression. The day my daddy left the house I watched him take his clothes from the house to the car. It made no sense!! He was a good father and husband, from my vantage point. He worked, he came home every day and took care of us. I asked him if I could go with him and he told me my mother would be able to take better care of me. He did let me ride with him to the place where he would be temporarily. When I saw it I truly wanted to cry. This was not the place for my daddy. He can't live in this place!!  As a youth, drowning in negative comparisons, statements of disappointment, I just could not take any more. I would scream at my mother, feeling there was no one else who would take care of me. I had to take care of myself. Rejection was deeply rooted in my life, so people I called friends could not be trusted with my heart. My close friends (a few) accepted me as I was. They came to me with their stories and pain. I don't know that I ever had a chance to tell mine. It was okay because in those moments, my personal value was being calculated differently. Someone else saw value in me.

As time went on, the see-saw of daily emotional contradictions continued. The negative declarations from my mother; and when I was just desperate for real caring and attention, I would call my daddy and he would come running. Usually the call would have to have purpose (or so I thought), so I would ask for McDonald's or Burger Queen (I know that is foreign to some of you), etc. I don't think I really understood what I was doing until much later. Whatever it took to get the real love I had come to recognize in my father, that is what I would do.

Many years later, approaching age 40, my adulthood and life experience brought me full circle. Over time I went back and put many pieces of the puzzle together. I saw my mother in a light, that as a child, I could not see. I saw my mother in the context of her life experience. I saw a woman raised during the great depression. I saw a black woman raised under the threat of an alcoholic father, during racial injustice in the South and the Jim Crow years. I saw a woman who had her own struggles with weight, that played into her self image issues; made worse not having a father's love. I saw a woman who had never really learned how to relinquish control herself, and allow God full trust in her circumstances. She prayed, she still goes to church and serves. As an Adult, I could see more clearly that my mother gave me--what she had.

Who assigns your value? Is it your mother, your father, friends, relatives, instructors, your boss, your husband/wife or significant other? None of these do. Your value and worth were assigned to you before you were aware of your own life. God purposed you, He thought of you, He intended you and the Bible says, He called you and ordained you. Before your mother even knew of you, God had already decided that He wanted you. Your value was not counted up in your deeds, your willingness to serve people, in your beauty or physical appearance. You aren't counted worthy because you have gifts and talents that make people gush with pride; nor were you devalued because you may have come short of the requirements of people. This is the measure of your value to God, that God sent His Son Jesus as payment for our sin. [In the beginning of the Bible, we know the story of Adam and Eve and how they disobeyed God's command to stay away from a certain tree in the Garden. In this act, they committed sin. Because Man, in God's original creation, is the highest form of creation, when they sinned all creation was affected. Today when we break a law, we have to pay a price for breaking that law. The same is true in spiritual things.] Adam and Eve were in an inferior state from their original condition. They were fallen, and their dominion was given up in the process. To restore Us back to our rightful place in God, Jesus was the ultimate payment for the sin of the man. So if God says you are worth the life of His Son, no one on this planet can assign a lesser value to you or your life.

Destiny Point: God decided that He wanted you. God decided that He loved you. God decided that despite your flaws and mistakes; despite the effects of the road you came down, despite the hard places you have slept in, regardless of what your parents, (so called) friends or family may have said to devalue or hurt you---God purposed You. GOD SELECTED YOU specifically because You are beloved of Him. He has placed a treasure inside you that He wants to use. So there is a choice to make. Agree with God who made and intended you and paid an extremely high ransom for you, or agree with other broken people who have to realize their value too?

Scriptures: Ephesians 6:1-4; John 3:16; Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 139:14